In the Knowing

Before she knew she was a traveler, the Compass was guiding her steps
Our Compass greater than the North and South,
Farther than the East or West
Had predestined her tiny feet to walk upon the temporary ground below them.

And as I watch the moon come out, or see the dawn again I wonder
If I had held you one more day, or looked upon the sweetness of your face just one more hour,
a little more I would have begged your Guide.
If all the sorrow that was swallowed, instead had spilled around me
Bright and beautiful flowers would have grown up from the tears and butterflies would have danced around them. And since I do not know for sure, I imagine that in Heaven all my tears made gardens grow and butterflies dance around you there.

If not that day, perhaps tomorrow, or years away or never
I could have known so much more of you. So much you might have said to me that my ears were waiting to hear. So much you might have taught me, that I will never know while I am here without you. Only the prelude to your lifesong was revealed to us, the rest is yet to come and I long to hear your story set to music. I imagine myself sitting in your gardens listening to you sing it while you twirl among the flowers and dance and laugh.

If time has spent itself so quickly since you went home and we lost you here,
Imagine how much faster it went in the having, holding and knowing you, precious girl.

I can accept that God designs, He plans, He wills, He knows
You were His little girl before you were mine
You are His still.

I would have never given you up, had He a mind to ask
You would have never stayed, I know, if it was your choice to make. Maybe it was you He asked?

The ground beneath my own traveling feet, grew cold the day you left.
I know it will not warm again until I reach our home and join you there.

When I see you once again, sweet baby, Gretta Claire
Then I will know the reasons all, the tears will stop, the burden lift
Until then I watch the time go by, how much more in the knowing.