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and pictures from her funeral

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Just A Breath

Today, just a breath at a time. On the verge of tears, breath in. On the verge of breakdown, breath out.

I received a letter a couple weeks ago, I noticed it was opened by my husband already and he said he had read it. We didn't talk about what it said, I noticed the envelope but didn't take time to read it right away.

I just read it. It's from a gal I know little about, but knew since childhood. Her life is in the midst of turmoil from some of that self inflicted pain we can bring on ourselves. Even so, God uses this pain, to make us weak. To take us to a hard place, one we wouldn't choose knowingly, it is in this place we let go of ourselves. We let go of whatever control we thought we had, at this point it is not that hard to do, because there is so little of it left. We fall on our faces here, literally, and we cry out to God. Even people who aren't sure about who God is, I believe, find themselves in this same place at some point in their life, and it is always God who we ALL call upon when there is nothing left of ourselves. Because God is all there is anyway, but it takes all of our self to be swept away first before God is fully revealed.

I pray for her tonight. God is working in her life now, He is in control. No matter the pain we are going through, there is peace in knowing that we are NOT in control anymore. The One that is bigger than our weak, pitiful selves is at the helm.

Today is one of those days that all I can really do is breath. Oh God, I miss my baby. Hold her for me.

I keep thinking of how the Angels in Heaven must have danced when Gretta went home.

Luke 1:79 "To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."


A day in the Life... said...

I am praying for you and Matt as well as your friend right now.
I pray that God will continue to give you comfort and maybe some EXTRA comfort tonight.

Anonymous said...

I have a niece in Heaven. She was stillborn but full term. She's been there for 4-1/2 years now and I'm certain that she and Gretta are keeping the angels very busy. Just thought it may be a tiny comfort to know that Gretta has someone there to play with.

michelle said...

I pray for you every night before I fall asleep. I pray for the Lord to give you strength. Just think of the pain you would have without our Savior by your side. He loves you and he is holding Gretta. I love you so much and I cry for you, I really truely am very sad for you. You are such a beautiful person and so many people love you and your family and baby Gretta. May God hold you tight in his arms tonight to help you rest your sad blue eyes..