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and pictures from her funeral

Friday, January 30, 2009

My First Dream

I had my first dream of Gretta, two nights ago. Well, my first good dream.

I have been praying and praying that I would dream of her, that I would experience what others have mentioned as being "real", being able to really feel her there.

I was dreaming for what seemed like all night. It was one of those dreams that takes you all over the place and doesn't make any sense really. There were people from different parts of my life in different places, you know, just one of those dreams that runs together and makes no real connections.

Anyway, I was talking in my dream to a group of people and there was a chair in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw this little person climb unto the chair and as it did, she tapped me on my arm. I looked down at the chair and there she was. Gretta. She put her arms up to me and I picked her up. All the while I was thinking in my dream, "Please God, let this be the dream I've been praying for, where I can really feel her and smell her." Gretta put her arms around my neck and wrapped her little legs around my waste just like she used to do. I put my arms around her and held her close to me, stomach to stomach; I could feel her little tummy on me and her warmth and her little arms, I took a deep breath. I could smell her. I started to sob. I was sobbing in my dream, thanking God for letting this dream happen, I was just sobbing and sobbing and then I turned my face to Gretta and kissed her on the cheek and then she was gone.

My dream kept going as if that had never happened, just another strange dream that continued on into the night. I didn't see Gretta again, it was like it didn't happen, only when I woke up that morning, it was the first thing I remembered. I couldn't still feel her or smell her or anything like that, but I could remember.

Gretta wasn't much of a talker when she was alive, she was just sounding out words and only had a few important ones down like, "HEY!" "NO!" "MINE!" and "Cookie!" So she didn't say anything in the dream either. She didn't make a sound. It was like she was sent to me, she tapped me like, "HEY! Here I am, you've been waiting, right?" It was exactly what I have been begging God for, to hold her, smell her, feel her, and that is exactly what He gave me, nothing more.

Thank You Jesus, Thank You God.


Anonymous said...

Oh I am SOOO happy God gave you that dream! There is NOTHING better than to have those dreams. It is hard to wake up to dreams like that because you are back into reality but at the same time you feel blessed.
Do you remember what she was wearing? I am so glad God gave you that dream. That is better than anything you could get on this earth at this point. I pray for you daily sister. God will use you and your family through this. He will show you His purpose. It is just a matter of His time.
Love and hugs to you.

A day in the Life... said...

Wow that is awesome, It made me cry! I am so glad that you were able to have a dream about her. God is Faithful.

Nicole said...

That's awesome Lesley! Just further proof that God cares and knows what you need!!

ben and erin said...

I hadn't thought about you dreaming of her. How wonderful! I was crying too. I will pray that God will give you more dreams where you can see her, smell her, hear her, feel her. Thank you for sharing your beautiful dream.

Kelly, Katie Hanson said...

I am so happy for you Lesley to have such a great dream. God is so faithful. Keep hanging in there and were prayin for ya. Love ya- Katie

Sarah said...

I am so glad that you received such a gift! May there be more!

For two years after my uncle passed away from a battle with cancer, I had a dream with him in it about every 6 months. The incredible thing about those dreams was that each time I "saw" him, he looked better, healthier, stronger, was God's way of showing me the healing of my uncle that I had so long prayed for (while he was alive and sick) and yet I thought was unanswered.

As everyone says, God is faithful. He will give you more than you ask for and beyond what you think you need.

Jennifer said...

Lesley...I am so happy that God brought her to you in a dream! I am so happy you shared it! It made me cry but they were tears of joy. I hope you felt a little closer to her after that. What a blessing! I will pray that little Gretta can be felt in many more to come.....