This World Is Not My Home

I am not the first to say, 'this world is not my home'; but I've been saying it a lot lately. It's funny in some ways to see the reactions people give. First though, let me explain why I say it.

This world is NOT my home and the death of my sweet Gretta made this real for me. I have spent almost all of my life seeing everything in the here and now. What kind of home do I have? What sort of clothes shall I wear? Am I stylish? Is my car out of date? You know, the usual stuff we can be preoccupied with. What are my friends doing tonight? Where are those people going? What sale at Target? Did I miss something????

When Gretta died, a part of me went too. I have four children and because those four children came from me, I figure at least a fourth of me is gone until eternity. At least that much went with her, home to our Lord. While part of me went home, the rest is made to wander here still and I came to a sharp realization that THIS world is NOT my home anymore. Nor was it ever my "home" in the sense of "home" as we know it. Now maybe I should have realized this before, because it is not a revelation. The Bible tells us, "Be not conformed to this world.....we are not of the world we are just in the world....for I go to prepare a place for you...." (various snippets of scripture taken from various references), so I should not have been surprised. But I was.

The world now holds no appeal to me. This Place has become a shadowland. I feel as if I am an alien traveling through, but still here for a purpose. The colors I see here now, in this temporary dwelling place, are these: Family, Friends, Church, People in need, Grief, Pain, Joy, Spiritual Longing, Wisdom, The Word of God, little children, Creation, Music, Love. But there is no color left in THINGS. Cars, money, houses, boats, clothes, (maybe a little color left in shoes ;)) see where I am going with this?

So when I say "This world is not my home," I am saying it as a reminder to myself, lest I stray from the goal, take my eye off the prize and basically because this is how I feel.

Some people nod their agreement and meet my eyes and I see their fragile pain and the hope they have that they too are aware they are just traveling through. Some people nod their quick agreement and I see in their eyes that they pity my pain and the deepness of my grief, but they have not seen the world in gray quite yet. Some people cough or clear their throat or look away or fidget or walk away even and I know that they still see much color here, but oh how faded it is and they don't even know it. Finally there are some people who look at me and I can see that they are wondering if I just got out of the psych unit somewhere and someone has forgotten to check up on me. I laugh as I write this because it is true about some people.

I hope as I travel through I will have deep friendships, close family ties, many, many strange encounters and divine appointments. I hope I will touch someone's life somewhere as much as I have been touched by others, I hope I will fulfill God's promise to complete a good work in me and like most travels, I hope I do not lose sight of the destination but anticipate the arrival every minute of every day until I get there!

"Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He died and was buried and that He rose again! the third day according to the Scriptures!" Happy Easter!