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Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I have always known since a young girl, that I should be a writer. Sometime between ages 8-12, I decided I was. I have never used the title of course, but inside myself I felt that I was just that.

Over the past 3 years or so, I have felt this tugging to write a book. I have had ideas of what and who, but 'putting pen to paper' has not happened. Now writing something sits between me and the future like a huge boulder I cannot move. Around the other side, I see this person that I am not now, but hope to be. Built around the boulder is a wall of excuses, not the least of which is, "I am too busy being a wife and mother and photographer and isn't that enough?". So why this constant alarm in my head that I need to write something. After all, I make 'To Do Lists' all the time. That should be enough for now, shouldn't it?

People have told me time and again, "You should write a book!" Responding, I suppose, to the stories I tell about my past life and things that have happened to me and because of me. I try to decipher now, whether I am being prompted by the Holy Spirit to do this thing, or my own ego and first born nature, that has forever told me I must be accomplishing something and be doing a damn good job at it as well.

I certainly suppose that anti-depressants were developed solely for the sake of mothers who drank too much coffee and lived in Northern Minnesota all winter long, pining away for the sun, while trying to figure out what else they should/could be doing. I came by this thought honestly, having taken anti-depressants in the past, drank too much coffee then and now, am sitting at my computer this morning, indeed, pining for the sun to come out and wondering what else I should be doing.