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to see a video of Gretta
and pictures from her funeral

Monday, November 24, 2008

Interesting and Amazing

I have to say that I am once again amazed at the way God speaks to me. Here I am thinking that I cannot hear His voice. I have been thinking to myself (but not admitting to anyone else): "Well I just don't know what to pray anymore, who for, why or even if I can!" I did not tell anyone this, I did not want any to lose heart in my process or progress. So this is what happened to me in the last two days.

Yesterday I recieved a letter from a long-gone friend from elementary school. Her name is Ellen. Out of the blue I get a letter from her, she is living somewhere in Iowa now. I knew her a short time as a girl and we were not real close, but friends as friends are when you are small. The letter was encouraging and truthful and full of love extended from her Christian heart. On the bottom of the letter was the Scripture written out in her hand, Romans 8:26-27 "In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Now Ellen wrote this in her script in King James version and so I read it a couple times through just to make sure I got it. I have to be honest that my first thought was "That's an interesting verse, I wonder why she chose that one."

Today, I was checking my blog and looked at the comments posted on the last one. Nicole wrote eloquently and beyond her years in wisdom, siting my angst and weariness and encouraged me much. At the bottom of her comment she writes THE SAME VERSE!!!! I began to cry.

Oh my Father in Heaven, even as I sat here wondering what or how to pray now, TWO people in TWO days sent me Your personal message, lest I be swayed by Satan himself into believing my state of being was inappropriate and moving me away from You. How is it that one can stand under the stars of the sky and the beauty of this earth and not KNOW there is a God. Not only IS there ONE God, but that He knows us, knows our thoughts, our worries, our infirmities, our faults and misgivings, LOVES us so much that even when we THINK that we are out of touch with Him; He is INDEED in touch with us in the most intimate and personal way. Thank You Abba, My Father.

God knew where I was at, the Holy Spirit did indeed intercede for me and did my praying in a way I could not utter alone. Then used two willing and wonderful servants to make sure that I KNEW my silence were prayers reaching the throne of God.

Interesting, but mostly, my God is amazing.

3 comments:

Nicole said...

Our God is an awesome God! Thank you for sharing that! I'm encouraged that God is using us, such frail humans, to speak His truth and to make His loving presence known.

So many things to be thankful for this time of year. I'm thankful that we have such a personable God. That He does not ever leave us or forsake us and that he cares, deeply for each of us. He does NOT grow weary!

ben and erin said...

Hi Lesley,
I've been reading your blog since probably May or June but have never commented. Part of that was not knowing what to say the last couple months... You have been in my prayers whenever I think of you whether I'm driving, or cleaning, or up in the middle of the night. Your blog posts have been so encouraging to me to see your faith through this trial, and to see how God is ever present, ever loving, ever faithful to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your heart.
In Christ,
Erin (Lutterman) Kern

kaiserstlouis said...

I am so glad that God tapped on you! Amen! Leslie, this will most likely be one of the closest times with God in your life. It is always good to "read" from you. I am amazed at your strength and your convictions after losing Gretta Claire.
You and in Matt's and my prayers through the holidays. We think and pray for you daily.

There is nothing wrong with being resentful and asking WHY. I believe God will give you answers as He did with me when I lost Cheyenne. It is good to hear you are going to grief groups. They can help a lot.

Love and hugs to you,
Linda